Children begin forming beliefs about food and their bodies far earlier than most adults realize. These early ideas often come from everyday moments – comments at the dinner table, things they overhear, or what they see adults doing. While these messages are usually unintentional, they can shape how children feel about eating, movement, and their own bodies.
Understanding where these messages come from and how kids interpret them can help caregivers create a more supportive environment. To explore this, we spoke with Dr. Dorian Dodd, PhD, a specialist in psychology at Sanford Health.
Where Early Food and Body Messages Come From
Children absorb information from the world around them long before they can fully understand it. “Young children receive messages about food and appearance from many different sources,” Dr. Dodd says. “Some of the most impactful messages come from the family, both in how parents and siblings talk about appearance and food choices, as well as how they model either healthy or unhealthy relationships with food and their bodies,” she explains. Children also take in what they see in the media, such as the repeated exposure to ‘thin-ideal’ or ‘diet-culture’ content from a very young age. Dr. Dodd also notes that peer influences matter too. “Attitudes and behaviors of friends, witnessing or being the target of appearance-based teasing, engaging in negative appearance comparisons, can further ingrain harmful messages,” she says.
The Subtle Ways Adults Influence Children’s Food and Body Ideas
Many adults do not realize how much children learn from their own behaviors. Dr. Dodd explains, “Adults often unintentionally introduce food rules and appearance‑focused beliefs to children through example, and how they approach their own relationships with food and appearance. If a child is told that they should eat healthy well-balanced meals, but then they see the adults in their lives frequently skipping meals or cutting out certain food groups, they will pick up on the unhealthy behavior regardless of the healthy message that is being said.”
This is also why children tend to interpret food messages in very literal ways. Dr. Dodd notes, “Children will internalize information based on what they hear from others around them and based on what they see others doing.” Oversimplified labels can be confusing for them. She explains, “Too often, people jump to the simple ‘rule,’ for example, saying that sugar is bad, instead of taking a more nuanced and helpful perspective, which is that too much sugar can be harmful to some people some of the time, but that sugar in moderation can absolutely be part of a healthy diet.”
Certain comments can also send strong messages. “Adults should avoid commenting negatively about their own, or anyone else’s, size or weight fluctuations in front of children,” suggests Dr. Dodd. According to her, comments like “does she look like she gained weight?” or “I really packed on a few pounds over the holidays” should be avoided. Comments that link physical activity to appearance should also be avoided. For example, “I’m gaining weight, time to get back to the gym” or “If I eat that desert I’ll have to run an extra mile tomorrow.” When it comes to food choices, caregivers should avoid negative comments about their own portion sizes or the nutritional value of their food.” Dr. Dodd suggests avoiding comments like “I shouldn’t eat that” or “this junk food is all just empty calories” or “Ugh…I ate way too much”. Talks about weight-loss diets should be avoided with or around kids as well.
All of these types of messages reinforce food rules which communicates to kids that there are right and wrong ways to eat, good and bad foods, and that food and body size are things that need to be worried about, managed, and controlled. Dr. Dodd advises, “Instead, caregivers should set the example that there is room for all foods in moderation in a healthy and well-rounded diet, and that all foods are meant to be enjoyed in moderation and not ‘forbidden’. Caregivers should also reinforce that physical activity can be fun and it is a healthy and positive habit regardless of body size or food choices. It is not something that should be done just to manage weight and appearance.”
Children and adolescents need help understanding that nutrition is not one-size-fits all. “People have different nutritional needs based on their activity, size, goals, age, medical status, etc., and adults should model an ability to understand and meet their own individual needs instead of pursuing fad diets and popular food ‘rules’ for managing weight,” says Dr. Dodd. She continues, “It is important for adults to remember that there is a lot of incorrect nutrition advice circulated on popular and social media that is not backed by medical or nutritional science. If they did not hear it directly from a medical provider or registered dietitian then it may not be accurate, helpful, or relevant to their personal needs.”
Early Signs a Child Has Absorbed Food‑Related Beliefs
“Early signs that adults should look for, that would indicate a child has absorbed unhealthy food-related beliefs, would include things like a child starting to eliminate or eat less of foods that they enjoy, unless advised to do so by a doctor or registered dietitian for health reasons, consistently looking at or talking about nutrition labels, talking about dieting or trying to diet, and making negative comments related to good foods/bad foods, portion sizes, or appearance," highlights Dr. Dodd. She continues, “If adults see this, they should gently provide corrective feedback. For example, if an adult saw a kid suddenly wanting to eat fewer carbohydrates they could say something like ‘I know a lot of people believe that carbohydrates are bad, but did you know that they are actually a really good and necessary part of a healthy diet? I really love pasta myself, let’s have some pasta for dinner!’”
Helping Kids Build a Healthier Relationship with Food and Their Bodies
Children benefit from support that helps them feel confident and relaxed around food. Dr. Dodd explains, “Educational programs to prevent eating disorders or to improve media literacy can be beneficial for helping children build better relationships with their bodies and with food. Open and direct conversations with adults about healthy body image and food choices can also have a beneficial impact.” Most importantly, kids learn from what they see and adults play a key role in shaping how children feel about themselves. She adds, “It is important that children and adolescents see adults in their life role-model healthy, positive relationships with their own body image and food choices.”
Dr. Dodd advises, “Adults should also make an effort to engage with kids based on character and not appearance or food choices. It is very important that kids develop a sense of self-worth based on who they are, their talents, capabilities, and personality, rather than their appearance or their self-control when it comes to food.”
Children are constantly learning from the world around them. When adults model balance, speak kindly about bodies, and create environments where kids feel valued for who they are, children can grow up with a healthier, more trusting relationship with food and themselves.
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